Lessons Learnt [Censored]

Nothing official about it… Aahaa!!

[Experience from one of my previous company]

I am trying to explain my experiences with arranging team outings. My experiences are so bitter that I had decided that I’ll never again take the responsibility of managing another team outing. The simplest reason behind that was, “I am a poor people manager!” I can deal with anything other than people. I get out of control when I see indifferent attitude of people.

This image is intentionally put here to mislead fake readers!! 🙂 You will not understand... but it has some reasons 😉

I categorize people into Five types-

1. Those who are complaint boxes – sees only faults and flaws in everything and anything: Cribbers

2. Those who were active before their marriage, and now they are afraid of their wives: Gynophobics

3. Those people who really has some limitations: Genuine reasons

4. Those who are willing to contribute to a common cause: Contributors

5. ?

Category One: Cribbers

Symptoms:

  • According the beliefs of this kind of people, they are always correct and all others are dumb asses!
  • Cribbers always do counter arguments for whatever options you give to facilitate them.
  • They believe that, in a company sponsored trip, Company will take care of all expenses these gentlemen are going to make!
  • They act like they don’t know the fact that company will be allocating a budget for each head. (normally that amount will be sufficient for a one day outing in and around the city, and nothing more than that)
  • They will never pitch in the extra expenses that are incurred for “their” travel. (Even a mere Rs.100/-. When you ask them to pitch in an extra Rs.100, the reaction will be a big “OOOH” with their jaws falling down and “nooru roobaaya?” as if they were asked to put their whole CTC!)
  • At the end of each conversation, they will ask- “What are we going to do their?”
  • For each destination option given, there will be at least one reason on which they decide not to come.
  • They will always have a sarcastic smile which means; anyway this trip is not going to happen.
  • They will ask more questions than those who really are going to tour.

How to handle these people

  • Leave them. They will not listen to anybody.
  • They just want to show that, they are brilliant, superb and machos! Reality, they are losing their own dignity.

Conversations:

Organizing team: How about going for a one day trip to ECR?

Cribbers: Oh gosh! ECR again? How many times will you take us to those &*$^@#$%! resorts in ECR?

After much home works and researches

OT: How about trip to Kodai or Ooty?

C: Those are too far. Why can’t we go to Moonnar?

(WTH?! Moonnar is even farther than Kodai/Ooty)

OT: Let us see the possibilities.

(OT researches again)

OT: We will not be able to accommodate so much of distance with in a weekend.

C: Oh! You are talking about a trip in a weekend?! I thought we are going on a working day!!

(OT-Mind voice: Bloody #$@#%@$%, Don’t you have a thing called brain or what? When did you go on an office team outing on a weekday?)

OT: Sorry, for going out on a weekday, we need permission from our Management as well as client. Else, we will have bad hit on billing.

C: Ok. So, please go ahead and get permissions

(OT-Mind voice: To hell with. Who are you to tell me to get the permissions? I asked you whether you are coming or not!! Answer to the point)

OT: Sure buddy. Will come back soon.

(OT speaks with managers, clients. Output: No. We cannot leave office on a weekday. Team outing only on weekends)

(OT works on weekends calling many resorts. Browsing all the day, to find out a good place to visit with the team. At last finds a place-Wayanad. But it needs atleast 3 days for the whole trip. OT talks with Managers and gets permission for one day Comp. Off. The trip will be arranged on a Sat-Sun-Mon. For the Monday’s efforts, people should work on another weekend. But this needs client’s approval.)

[Will continue…]

Category Two: Gynophobics

Symptoms:

According the beliefs of this kind of people,

  • They are very much concerned about their wives.
  • They tell,
    • “She will not be feeling comfortable if I am not here”
      • OT-Mind voice: Be with her and scratch her back occasionally
  • “I have some work on that day”
    • OT-Mind voice: We know you will have some work. At least do some work on “that day”
  • “Due to family reasons… blah blah blah”
    • OT-Mind voice: We are born to the streets. Only you have a family.
  • “My father-in-law is coming home…”
    • OT-Mind voice: Good. Plead to get some more money from him.
  • “My wife will be ill…”
    • OT-Mind voice: Fine. If she is not ill, please make her at least ‘pregnant’
    • Ø You can see a fear in their eyes when they talk to you. This is because; they actually want to come to the trip. But if OT succeeds in convincing them, they will get nice blow from their wives! (Blow with “chappathi kattai”…)

How to handle these people

  • Leave them. They will listen only to their wives. (They are actually poor invertebrate creatures)

Conversation continues:

OT: Guys, we have spoken to our client and we have got approval for one day’s comp. off.

Gynophobics: So, when are we going?

OT: We will be going on a Thursday evening and back on a Monday morning.

G: Oh! Three days?

(OT Mind voice: Don’t you know counting?)

OT: Yes boss. We will need that because we have to travel more than 500KMs.

G: I think, I can confirm you by day after tomorrow morning.

(OT Mind voice: For confirming what? You are not coming?)

OT: Will you be able to tell that before End Of Today?

G: That is tough. Still I will try.

(After 5 minutes)

G: Sorry, I have a problem in my family on that day. So, I cannot come.

(OT Mind voice:  What a nice family? You people are planning and conducting ‘problems’ in family? Nice man… Fuck off)

OT: Oh! Is it? Fine. Please carry on.

G (another one): Sorry man, my child has exams on next month. So, I will be sitting with him.
(Reality, if he didn’t teach his child, his wife will teach him a lesson)

G (another one): I have a family function fixed on that day. It just got fixed now.

(OT Mind voice: Good that you fixed it on the same day. I don’t want you to be in the trip)

OT: Good. Carry on.

Category Three: Genuine Reasons

Symptoms:

  • They share their problem.
  • Talk facts

How to handle these people

  • If those are real problem which you can find some solution for, they will fix it and join the outing. So, try talking to them.

[Conversation continues…]

GR: This is my problem.

OT: This is the solution for this.

GR: Great. It is fixed. I will join you people.

OT: Welcome aboard!

Category Four: Contributors

Symptoms:

  • They will look like they are nuts
  • They talk on phone a lot
  • They talk with HR Department
  • They talk with Managers
  • They break their head on Finance and Mathematics

How to handle these people

  • Nothing to do… They will join themselves.

[Conversation continues]

[Conversation ends]

(Really, they don’t talk about coming to the trip)

Category Five: Unknown

My brain is not matured enough to understand them.

Symptoms:

  • Unknown

How to handle these people

  • Unknown

[shubham]

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